Holiday Tips for Stepfamilies - Part Ten

Holiday Tip # 10 - Do the Right Thing

I worked for a dynamic leader in the corporate world years ago whose motto in business was "Do the Right Thing." He grew his business by treating others with respect, making decisions with customers and vendors based on doing what was right.

That same motto can make a difference in stepfamilies. Doing the right thing may require sacrifices on our part and doesn't always come naturally, but can positively affect those around us.

My girls' dad is in town right now for a few days. It has been over five years since they've seen him and there was alot of anxiety and mixed feelings about his coming. Because of his struggle with addiction, their relationship with him has been unstable and full of turmoil much of the time. But as he approaches his mid-50's and tries to get his life in order, he wants to reconcile his relationships. Although I know it's the right thing to allow the girls a relationship with him, we have done fine without him for years. So I've had to work hard at being positive toward him and his desire to interact with us.

Doing the right thing today means I get out of the way and let go of control in their relationships. My girls are young adults, mature enough to make wise choices. Because I'm well acquainted with his unpredictable behavior I want to rescue them from the heartache that may come their way. But instead I will pray for healthy interaction and give them the freedom to determine what kind of relationship they want to have with him.

It's not always easy to do the right thing. It may require difficult choices. But it can make a positive difference in our stepfamily relationships.