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Friday, August 6, 2010

Stepparenting Rewards

My stepson called me this week and asked for some "motherly advice." He and his roommate were having trouble getting along and he wanted my view of the situation.

I was flattered that he asked for my opinion. But I was even more thankful to hear him ask for "motherly advice." That's as close as my stepson comes to referring to me as his mother.

Stepparents don't get to experience rewards often, especially in the early years. So when we do receive a hard-earned reward for the job we're doing, we can pat ourselves on the back, realizing our efforts are not in vain.

I have seen more rewards as a stepmother since my stepchildren reached young adulthood. The years I spent working on a healthy relationship and showing how much I cared for them are now rewarded with love and respect for me.

There were many times I wanted to give up and thought it was too hard to keep pursuing a relationship with them, especially when it was obvious they didn't care about having another mom in their lives. But I now see the rewards I would have missed if I'd quit.

Perseverance is worth every effort we make. When we're struggling in our stepparenting role, quitting is never the answer.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9

Are you experiencing stepparenting rewards?

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At August 9, 2010 at 2:11 PM , Anonymous sue said...

Thank you. This gives me hope. And actually? I had a rewarding experience last week. My stepson didn't ask for motherly advice, but he did call me (not his biological mother) when he was filling out paperwork and needed additional information about his siblings (my other step-children). I told my husband about it, and his response? "He knows he can count on you." Very rewarding.

At August 9, 2010 at 5:25 PM , Blogger Step Parenting with Grace said...

That's pretty cool that he called you instead of his bio mother. You're obviously doing something right in your role! Cherish your reward!

At August 11, 2010 at 2:58 PM , Anonymous sue said...

Thanks. I do. Or, I am learning to. One day at a time.

Yesterday, my big tough 17-year-old called me again--this time to tell me that he had fallen and cracked open his chin and thought he might need stitches. I was at work an hour away, so I told him I'd meet him at the clinic. He was on the table about to get a shot of anesthesia when I arrived. His smile when I walked in? Priceless. He ended up with 37 stitches (internal and external).

As we walked out, he thanked me for leaving work and coming. I told him I kind of liked him, so he was worth it. Then I said, "There is nothing more important." He smiled.

Last night before he went to bed? He gave me and my husband big hugs. That hasn't happened in a while. Still smiling ...

At August 12, 2010 at 8:54 AM , Blogger Gayla said...

Wow - once again, you were there for him. Good for you!


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